You have been through hell and you are still kicking HLHS ASS!! You amaze me. You also make me giggle. You keep up with your older brothers. In fact just this morning, you walked up to Zephyr who was quietly watching Super Why, and just yanked on his hair and walked away. Two minutes later, you were hugging him.
Zephyr has your back too. You'll buzz right to the door to the kitchen if it's open and Z will chase you and tell you not to go in there. If you get hurt, Z is right there to help kiss the boo boos too. You cuddle with Ashton and take a nap. Life is normal.
And then reality hits. In the last few weeks, two HLHS kiddos gained their wings. They weren't sick. They were doing normal kid things. Those boys were playing one day, gone the next. Seriously. What the hell? I tend to forget you only have half of a heart sometimes because of how well you keep up with everyone else. And then things like this happens and I wonder "Will I wake up to another day with my sweet boy?" The answer to that question is...I just don't know. Your tiny heart could give out at any minute. That is my reality. That is the world I now live in.
What pisses me off more than anything is that family hasn't really paid you much attention. Sure, my Aunts and Uncles know you. But my cousins...They don't bother. I had envisioned that family would be close. That we would all form a bond for such a special boy. Turns out, they don't care. Even at my Mom's funeral, they acted like we didn't exist. There are a few that care. And I appreciate that. But really, I feel like the whole world should know you...ESPECIALLY your own blood relatives.
You are loved though...Mande said "Anyone who doesn't want to get to know Luka,that's their loss... More time for me :) But seriously,any thing happens to him,I will be crushed right with you. No not in the same way but none the less crushed. That's my little buddy! <3" And Krysten "People don't care to look outside their little worlds, to see reality. I'm sorry that some chose ignorance but many others chose to embrace Luka, and to know and love him. I chose to be overly optimistic because that little man came into the world kicking bums and he's not anywhere near done. The truth is I can't fathom to think about the alternative. I just can't. He's too precious and he deserves a whole life full of victories." And Gretchen "If someone doesn't want to be involved in Luka's life, then honestly it's their loss. Luka is a wonderful little boy and anyone who can't see that is blind. The ones who truly matter will always be there <3". You. Are. Loved. Loved by my closest friends, your brothers, your mama and daddy, Daddy's cousin Jana and her guy Don, your Lala, your MeeMaw who is an Angel in Heaven, and people who haven't even met you in person. As much as I want the whole world to know you, I realize everyone in our world does. Everyone who is important does. And we don't need more than that. I can't force people to care. We are likely better off without them.
Ohhhhhh sweet boy. I really love you. I am so beyond blessed with you and your brothers. The moments we thought we would never experience are happening right now. So I'm gonna post this, cuddle with you as you snore super loud, and blog again in six months or so. Lol!
We love you!!!
Mommy
