Home...

Sixteen days ago, you came into this world kicking and screaming. You have been a fighter, my little warrior, since the beginning. You have gone through the most complex open heart surgery there is and here you are... No tubes, no wires... Just a feeding tube and a pulse ox. Luka, you are kicking some serious HLHS ass. And because of that, there are talks of us going home. Soon. Like...At the end of the week soon. Holy crap.

I am so... Happy. Sad. Scared. Excited. Home. The five of us. In our home. I want us to be together but I'm worried. What if you forget to breathe? What if your heart stops? Here, we are safe. Here, I have help if I'm clueless. Home is 2 hours away. Home is so far away if something happens. Ugh.

I'm learning how to feed you. A healthy baby... Well, a healthy baby would just breastfeed. You on the other hand need a fortifier added to pumped breastmilk to give you extra calories. A healthy baby would be able to eat as long as they want but you have 20 minutes to swallow down 50mL or the rest goes in the feeding tube. The reason you only get 20 minutes is because after that, you're burning more calories than you are consuming so eating basically becomes pointless. This is all so hard. So new to me. But I'll do this because you are so worth it.

You are the sweetest little guy. Everyone just adores you. You've amazed your doctors and nurses. And Mommy and Daddy. We love you so very much.

Keep fighting Luka. We'll be home... SOON!